By Sher Diwatahan,
“Lolo” is who he was to me. Lolo is the Tagalog word for grandfather. His actual name was Jose Victa. He was a humble, impoverished farmer. But when World War II came, he answered the call to fight for his country, the great archipelago of the Philippines, as a guerilla fighter. So effective were these fighters that my family changed their surname to Victa to hide from being wanted by the Japanese.
But growing up, I didn’t see Lolo as a badass being hunted by the Japanese. I was 14 when he came to the United States, him barely knowing English. I didn’t know Tagalog, and we were both quiet, coexisting in the same house rarely saying anything to each other. But I do remember the raucous he would make watching boxing, yelling at the TV with fists punching into the air. My mom would translate stories of the neighborhood kids giving him marijuana to smoke, laughing because they thought they were pulling the shade over his eyes. But we were laughing too—he used to grow his own in the Philippines and gladly welcomed the offerings. I remember the man that cultivated our yard into a beautiful oasis, and the man that would stare out the back door contemplating life.
I always thought I took after Lola, my grandmother, with her round face and stern expressions. When I told my mother I was majoring in retailing and minoring in business and entrepreneurship, she told me that my grandmother would go to the market selling things to help make money for the family. These things solidified in me that I was a hustler, like Lola.
But recently I’ve wondered if I’m more like “Lolo ko”, my grandfather. With my work to better my mental health and decolonize myself, my thoughts regularly go to my ancestors—the headhunters and those that fought against the Portuguese and Spanish that I come from. I think of their ferocity and try to tap into it to balance my timidness and difficulties speaking up for myself. But I don’t need to look back that far in time. Lolo defied people and establishments when he fed and hid American soldiers separated from their units. He defied an entire country and the Axis to get medicine to prisoner of war camps, nearly being caught time and time again. And much to Lola’s chagrin, he defied the matriarch of the family to plant fruit trees on the outskirts of the farm for the hungry to feed themselves.
Reflecting back, this man was not solely a World War II guerilla hero of legend. Nor was he solely the slow, bent man with a full head of luscious white hair that shuffled everywhere. He’s both, not either/or. If I want to tap into my ancestors, I would do well to use Lolo as an example of strength in standing up for what he believed and for those that could not. He is an example of wholeness and light that could challenge and hold the shadow.
Despite not being proficient in my learned language, he loved in a universal language. He loved with a humble quietness. He loved his family, his country, and his neighbors with a fierce softness.
Sher Diwatahanis a 9 year OIF/OEF Navy Nuclear Electronics Technician with 3 deployments. After leaving the Navy, she became the first female power plant control operator on the Midcontinent Independent System Operator (MISO) electrical grid. Sher graduated from the University of Wisconsin-Madison with a Bachelor of Science in Retailing with three minors in Textile Science, Business, and Entrepreneurship. In addition to being a wilderness guide with Veteran Rites, she works with homeless youth and fights against food insecurity in her community. Sher wears many hats: first-generation immigrant, first-generation college graduate, wife, mother, dog mom, and part-time caregiver of her mother. Yet, one's own identity has been elusive for her. Sher’s path towards healing and self-discovery has not been easy due to the trauma she has experienced, but her resolution to seek help and guidance brought her to Veteran Rites. She knows the path towards healing can be difficult and daunting, however, she is ready to help cast a shining light for the lost. At Veteran Rites, she hopes to lead by example and guide others with compassion. When Sher is away from Veteran Rites she spends her time as a visual artist, writer, master gardener, Filipino reconstructionist, and petter of dogs.
